by Linda Raines
(The following obituary appeared in the June 13, 2024, issue of Lavender Magazine, based in Edina, Minn., just outside Minneapolis. It is reprinted here with permission.)

The Twin Cities is, and has been, home to many notable names in the LGBTQ community, but one that has long stood out is George Holdgrafer, one of the founders of Lavender Magazine.

Sadly, George passed away on Wednesday, May 22, 2024, and his loss has left a gaping hole in the fabric of the community here.

George was born in Austin, Minn., in 1951, the only child to Harold and Adeline (née Watkins) Holdgrafer. A 1969 graduate of Austin High School and member of the debate team, George then made his way to the University of Minnesota where he graduated as salutatorian in the class of 1973.

In a 2018 interview with Lavender writer Terrance Griep, George stated, “I was a late bloomer. I finally decided to come out of the closet because I was tired of being in it.  Besides, all of my friends already knew.”

Once out of that closet, though, George began to quickly make his mark on the LGBTQ scene in Minnesota and in the Twin Cities.

In the 2018 Griep interview, George remarked, “I served on the local Pride board from 1988 to 1995,” as well as being involved with publications such as Equal Time and GLC Voice. He was also the editor of GAZE magazine before the publication folded.

It was then that George decided to go into business with Stephen Rocheford, who he had met in 1985 at A Brother’s Touch, a gay bookstore owned by a mutual friend. They founded a new LGBTQ magazine in 1995, agreeing upon George’s suggestion of the name “Lavender” as a way of taking back a word that had previously been seen as a slur against the gay community decades earlier.

During his tenure at Lavender, George wore many hats — founder, editor, writer, editorial associate. He covered the bar beat for many years, and regularly wrote about the latest happenings and new and noteworthy events at places such as the Townhouse, the 19 Bar, the Gay 90’s, the Saloon, the Brass Rail, the Bolt, the Bolt Underground, the Minneapolis Eagle, Over the Rainbow, and others in his “Barometer” column each issue.

George also consistently covered the events of the Imperial Court of Minnesota. He was invaluable to the Lavender editorial staff with his almost photographic memory of nearly every article, feature, photo and story within the pages of the magazine since its beginnings. One only had to mention a long-past story or photograph, wondering which issue it may have appeared in, and George would immediately pipe up with not only the issue and page, but oftentimes, even the location on said page.

As Rocheford commented, he and George “recognized each other’s strengths and weaknesses in the business.” Working together as a team, with George helming the journalistic portion of Lavender and Stephen taking care of the business side of things, the two men saw their dream flourish and blossom into a powerhouse that would eventually see the magazine consistently publishing the largest Pride edition in the nation yearly since 2001, as well as having the reputation for being the largest LGBTQ publication to never be forced to file for bankruptcy in an increasingly difficult market for printed periodicals.

George also served as a mentor and historian of the Twin Cities’ LGBTQ scene for a number of writers who looked to him for advice. Steve Lenius, one of Lavender’s earliest writers who wrote the Leather Life column, reminisced that “he knew our community’s history before the changes brought about by the Stonewall Rebellion in New York, and he and I had many conversations about these changes and this history. I also remember several articles about early Twin Cities gay and lesbian history that George wrote for the magazine. When I read those articles, I always learned something. I’ve been around and involved a long time, but George had been around and involved longer.”

With George’s guidance, along with the dedication and hard work of the magazine’s staff, Lavender Media garnered awards from the Minnesota Magazine & Publishing Association (MMPA) over a hundred times, which culminated with it winning its top honor — Magazine of the Year — in 2016.

In addition to being a consummate journalist, George was also a great friend to many. His dry wit and razor-sharp sense of humor were legendary, and as Rocheford commented, “George was the funniest man that I ever met; he made me laugh more than other in my life. He was extremely witty, and no man ever spoke a barb that was faster or funnier than George.”

This was a comment that came up whenever George’s name was spoken. Lenius concurred, saying, “There were times I turned in a column with a title I had created, and when I saw the column in print the title was different. It was better, and it was something I never would have thought of. I knew it was George’s work, and it always made me smile in appreciation of his sense of humor.”

George Holdgrafer’s memory will long live within the Twin Cities LGBTQ community and beyond, not only for what he accomplished in his chosen profession, but also because of his innate ability to make friends and put people at ease in his presence with his wit and humor, as well as his conviction that equality and acceptance of all should be paramount.

Perhaps Stephen Rocheford put it best when he said, “George’s legacy is that of a never-tiring editor and writer who pursued the community’s mission of equality for all, in a manner that portrayed our community honestly, fairly, and with compassion. He fervently believed that we could all live together and respect everyone in the community, even if we sometimes disagreed. George was a peaceful and honorable man who put his community first, himself second. George Holdgrafer is missed, already.”

SPECIAL REPORT
Volume 26
Issue 4